I have a lot in common with my mom. We can chat on the phone for hours about a variety of things. There is one thing we don’t have in common though. She never had boys. Not even one. She had two girls (and they are awesome, if I do say so myself), but girls are different.
This is something I do have in common with my mother-in-law. She had a boy. A fabulous boy. He’s so great, I married him. She gave me her boy, not that she had a whole lot of say in the matter. I kind of just swooped in and took him away to be my own.
I get it now.
When you are the mother of a little boy, you are his everything. I realize that this is only temporary. Someday, he will bring a new, younger woman into your home. He will be so excited to introduce her to you. In his eyes, she will be amazing. She will think she knows everything. She will be all cute and perfect. And then, in the blink of an eye, she will steal your little boy away.
She will be the one cooking his meals and cleaning his messes (or maybe vice versa… in our house, I cook the meals, he cleans the messes). She will be the one planning his holidays. She will be the one caring for him when he’s sick. She will be the one running her hands through his hair (if he's lucky enough to still have any). She will be the one snuggling him to sleep at night. She will be your replacement. She will be his everything. And you don’t get to say a thing about it.
When you want to see your boy, you will call, email, or text her (or some other new technology that hasn’t been invented yet). You will make plans with her when you want to see your grandkids. You will run your holiday plans by her, hoping to be included in your son’s life.
When a young woman gets married, her dad (or some other loving family member) usually gives her away. When a young man gets married, his parents don’t get a say.
She’s probably already out there, just waiting to make her move. Just waiting to steal him from me (okay, she’s likely still in diapers and not all that threatening…yet).
And when he marries her, I will watch with grace as I let go of my little boy. I will smile, hug, and congratulate them. And then I will turn to my mother-in-law, silently sobbing. Because she understands what it’s like to give up her baby.
Disclaimer: This could obviously be applied to either of my boys. It didn’t sound right when I tried writing it plural. Also, I realize that watching your daughter get married is also probably difficult. I don’t have a daughter though, so I’m just focused on boys right now. And I realize they may not choose to get married. That’s cool too.
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