Coco. That's not what I named him, but that's what his brother decided we would call him. And it stuck. We frequently call him coco baby, or coco butter, but we never call him by his actual name. Coco was born 6 months ago. He has taught me more in his first few months of life than I ever imagined a second child could. After all, I already knew everything long before he was born!
When I had my first son, I was so smart. I figured out the right way to do everything. He was always content and smiling. He slept well. He ate well. He grew well. He was perfect. Obviously, it was because I knew exactly what I was doing. When he was 18 months old (still an infant!), Coco was born. The first couple of weeks were great. I was easily able to handle life chasing a toddler with my newborn tucked in a carrier. Then he woke up. And screamed. And screamed. And screamed. For months. Four months. And I quickly realized that I had been incredibly lucky to have had such an easygoing first child. I realized it had almost nothing to do with my awesome parenting, because now, my awesome parenting appeared to be a total failure. Thankfully, with the help of understanding friends and supportive family, we made it through those months, he stopped screaming, and we have adjusted to life as a family of four.
I never believed in colic, teething pain, amber necklaces, and sleepless nights six months ago. I do now. But in the meantime, I have learned a lot. I understand that every mom is doing her best to raise her kids in the best way possible. What works for one kid may not work for another.
When I am having an easy day and see a mom struggling to handle her kids, it's not because she's not a great mom. It's because, for whatever reason, today is a hard day for her. I truly believe that each person is doing her best to be the best person she can. It might not always look that way from the outside, but that's where we stand when we judge. It's a lot harder to judge from the inside.
When I look into Coco's eyes, I can't thank him enough for the lessons he has already taught me.
